Stop being catty. You’re not a cat.

I don’t understand females…and I am one. 

We size each other up worse than heterosexual guys do when we walk in a bar (or in a classroom, the gym, a public pool, whatever). I think that’s kind of sad. What we should be doing, in my opinion, is uplifting each other. If you like the dress a girl has on, tell her! That requires much less work than jealously talking shit about her having an awesome dress to your friend who probably doesn’t care. Also…

You might not be the hottest one in the room. But it’s all good! 

Sometimes it’s hard to look really hot. It takes a lot of prepping such as: working out, doing your hair, and making sure your make up doesn’t make you look like Paulette from Legally Blonde, all while simultaneously figuring out something appealing to wear.

Embrace the fact that you’re not the hottest one. You can relax a little bit. Enjoy your beer more (or cranberry vodka if you’re into that) instead of worrying about if the seemingly attractive guy in the corner of the bar who’s been checking you out all night is scrutinizing your every move…or if he knows you forgot to shave the back of one leg. 

While you’re enjoying yourself and your beer more, you may actually have more fun. Which means you may have less time to focus on the other ladies in the bar checking out the seemingly attractive guy in the corner. AND you may have so much fun that another–and more attractive man–decides to go talk to the girl (that’s YOU) who’s having an awesome time with her friends and drinking a cool craft beer

I don’t know how this turned into a “how to get a man” post because it’s not. And you don’t need an attractive man to make you feel good about yourself as a capable and talented woman.

My plea, ladies, is that we begin empowering our gender. We have to lend a hand to each other because it’s difficult being a woman in 2013. For every negative comment that pops in your head about another female, I challenge you to think of 3 positive attributes said female possesses. And don’t make excuses. (By the way, I’m accepting this challenge also.) 

“Fighting is essentially a masculine idea; a woman’s weapon is her tongue,” said Hermione Gingold. Let’s prove Hermione wrong. 

 

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Trickery and Self-Esteem Issues: Thanks, Spice Girls

Who do young girls/women idolize these days? 

I genuinely don’t know. Sure, there are women that I would consider idols for various reasons. Usually, these reasons have nothing to do with physical attributes.

If I had to guess, I would say that the women most looked up to TODAY are of celebrity status. Their claim to fame is most likely due to music, movies, television, etc. We as a culture are bombarded daily with various media. Sure, DVR allows a viewer to skip through commercials and magazine readers can choose to toss this month’s edition of The Enquirer, but we are subconsciously listening, reading and viewing EVERYTHING. I have a feeling that the little people of this developed nation–children I mean–are being affected the most.

A prime example for any readers who were of pre-pubescent or pre-teen age when the Spice Girls became the global monopoly of girl groups can attest to how wild we were about these saucy British women. Therefore, I’m going to break down the group who coined (not really, but made it more popular than before) the term “Girl Power.”

Disclaimer: I’m being critical. There is a reason, though, because in retrospect I do recognize a few issues the group posed.

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Baby Spice: She kind of reinforces a few stigmas women face. She’s blonde, beautiful and sucks on a damn lollipop all day. She’s every young (and maybe even older) guy’s dream. She almost always got the guy.

In my fresh mind at age 10, the formula was an easy one:

Blonde Hair + Lollipop + Teddy Bears = Attractive Men. 

Sporty Spice: She was such a badass. Her part of the tour bus on the movie Spice World was full of workout equipment and sports drinks. Honestly, I don’t think she was ever dressed in anything other than athletic gear. She never got the guy…which reinforces a stigma that muscles make women less feminine. Dumb.

Scary Spice: I wonder how the people of the Saint Kitts and Nevisian ethnicity would feel about the woman of color being called “scary.” I have a feeling that the obnoxious hairstyles/over-the-top afro wasn’t Melanie Brown’s choice at first. Being famous comes with a price though. She will forever be the scary one. What stigma does this reinforce, ladies and gents? I have so much faith in you it deserves no explanation.

Posh Spice: Since she rarely talked, I don’t have much of an explanation. If she did speak, though, it was about her wardrobe. She usually got the guy too. I mean, come on. She’s married to David Beckham. I have yet another formula!

A Little Black Dress + High Cheekbones + Little To Say =

David Beckham (or another hot athlete)

And last but certainly not least is Ginger Spice: Whose idea was it to name the redhead Ginger? Even if it was her idea, shame on you Geri. Honestly, I don’t know what she looked like. I do, in fact, know what her boobs looked like. For some reason she (or her stylist) decided her boobs were more important than her face. In turn, they were elevated to new heights. I bet the pair is happy the fame is running out. Reinforced stigma? Big boobs can potentially make you famous.

My intention in this post is not to fire up the fans of this groundbreaking group around the world. These women could have chosen to represent themselves in these individual ways without any help from the outside world. I have a feeling (a hunch, if you will) that this was not the case.

I suppose what scares me the most is the fact that this is a pretty innocent example in comparison to some of the stars young girls are infatuated with today. What will be the final straw? How can we build self-esteem in these young girls without tearing down their idols?

There is no simple solution. Dammit.